


I know your (sick) mind

by LadyHorizon94



Series: (Not) Mine [5]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Nightmares, Possessive Behavior, UF!Dadster, WARNING: MILD BODYHORROR, goopygaster, possessive thoughts, void daddy, void daddy is watching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 19:10:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8069281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyHorizon94/pseuds/LadyHorizon94
Summary: The blackness under his feet starts to melt and move. Papyrus stares at it and suddenly he feels it. Rage and absolute qualm and nausea that does not belong to him. They are directed at HIM. Underswap! and Underfell AU. WARNING: BODYHORROR MILD BUT STILL





	

**Author's Note:**

> I know this I said somewhere earlier that the next one is going to be about Blue, but I changed my mind since this was supposed to be the ending of "The right thing" And I wanted to post something to celebrate belated Undertale anniversary :D 
> 
> And... since ppl everywhere have posted what undertale means to them and how it affected their life I guess I could a small belated and totally skipable "speech here" 
> 
> I first discovered Undertale last winter, not so long ago. At that time, I was dealing a lot of heavy stuff... I had lost a family member earlier summer and at the time after just discovering undertale, I did something that make some other person feel bad. That made me hate myself and normally I would have been able to put let it go but the loss I had a lot of failure relationships with other ppl. This kind of sealed the deal.  
> I felt ashamed of myself and didn't want to talk at all. I didn't want to socialize and I drowned myself in Undertale and especially Underfell fics helped me to cope - even if there was still anxiety and sorrow. I even got excited about writing again.  
> There was a time I almost quit it since ppl kept unknowingly pressuring me into it and I just felt like an empty writing machine but now I love writing again - heck, I have NEVER kept going with a fic this long. When I got into uni I was filled with joy but then... I was terrified. I have been always treated like a "different" and called "weird" I was really stressed and scared if I would even fit in... I didn't want to socialize and it's still hard for me. The very big reason why I write this story is, because it's therapy for me. There's this... constant voice in my head that tells me I'm a freak and a shameful person and a failure. UF!Papyrus gives that voice a face and it's much easier to cope with things. I also feel UFSans... I don't have as bad problems as him, but I have bad self-esteem problems and get anxiety/crying attacks easily. And... I still can't socialize well... I used to be talkative and social person 
> 
> but after so many failed relationships and attempts I'm actually very horrified of ppl and I can't converse with them that naturally anymore...  
> That's when you guys come in. You are the only one I can talk to and feel normal again. You have no idea how many times you have saved me when I have been on my lowest and I see one new message on my inbox. I don't feel weird and for once, I don't think if I seem weird or gross or anything like that. THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE I FEEL COMPLETELY NORMAL. Thank you Toby Fox for creating this game... And thank you guys, seriously. You have helped me cope with my moving, with my first month of school, with my period cramps :'D..... well Almost everything. I seriously don't even dare to think what condition would I be in if I have never started to write this and started to talk with you.  
> HAPPY BELATED UNDERTALE ANNIVERSARY EVERYONE

It's dark everywhere Papyrus sets his foot on. It's not pleasant and comfort dark like in his room just before he's going to fall asleep. It's not like when he closes his eyes and still can hear the noises of the world all around him. The sound life. A certainty of existent. That somewhere is something.

This darkness is sucking everything in. There's absolutely nothing in this place. Not even a sound. It just an empty hole, with blackness and nothingness. Even though he's walking, his feet can't feel the floor or ground. It's more like he's floating and even that's not quite it.

At first Papyrus is relieved. No nightmares. No flashbacks of his brother getting stabbed to death by freak wearing a deceiving skin of a child. No enraging dreams about Red, seducing and tempting, looking at him with disgusted eye-sockets for the last time before grabbing the glowing, purple hand made of fire and walking far, far away from Papyrus.

Maybe, this is the night he can finally _rest._ Maybe -

The blackness under his feet starts to melt and move. Papyrus stares at it and suddenly he feels it. Rage and absolute qualm and nausea that does not belong to him.

_They are directed at **HIM.**_

This is nightmare after all. The slimy blackness touches his leg and it's so cold and yet so hot at the same time. The burning and freezing sensation makes Papyrus jolt and he starts to run as fast as he can, trying to summon his magic in vain.

Papyrus doesn't know what's chasing him, but fear has sharpened his senses. He can't hear anything and yet he feels it. Constant presence of something that wants to harm him. He doesn't know why. He hasn't done anything wrong. ( ~~ _Pierced grotesque body of another skeleton is staring at him -_ ~~ )

**_He hasn't done anything wrong._ **

The thing seems to disagree. Papyrus can feel its' disbelief, sorrow and - _fear?_

Why does it fear?! _It's_ the one that's chasing him.

”What do you **_want_**  from me?!” The skeleton shouts. The words are surprisingly hard to form. It's like he's speaking underwater. They seem to disappear into the hole of nothingness, never returning.

The freezing burning is nibbling his tibia and fibula and Papyrus shivers when he feels something slimy touch his bones again. It's getting close. The skeleton's soul is jumping in his throat and the fear is controlling it. Whatever this thing is, it controls the place, knows it like it was its' home (Maybe that is the case.)

The whole place is moving, blackness is squirming and trembling around him. A pressure is gathering inside Papyrus' skull. _It feels so bad_ -

_**D.....** _

At first the skeleton thinks he's only imagining things when he hears the struggled word. It's like a bad signal. It comes so close and Papyrus is just disgusted he just wants to get out, to wake up -

**_….O....._ **

Suddenly, the slimy... tentacle thing...? Wraps itself around Papyrus' ankle and the male curses. He tries to summon his magic but he's... Helpless.

_Just like when the human slaughtered Sans._

_**….N.....'T.....** _

Papyrus trembles. He tries to think of something, but nothing comes in his mind. He tries to crawl away as he falls on his stomach but the black goop is overpowering him, slithering along his bones aggressively.

The male wants to throw up.

”Don't what?! I haven't done anything!” He yells in desperation now getting angry.

But... This is just a dream. Only something that's inside him -

He's yanked aggressively upwards.

 ** _….M....Y.... SO....N...._** _**HURT**_ Something manifest from the darkness. A pale, white melted face which makes Papyrus' eyes wide as he stares into this... _creature_.

It looks distantly like skeleton. It has two cracks on his face and a wide mouth forever stuck in twisted, joyless smile. The most horrific thing is...

_It looks so much like his father._

That judgmental face is gazing upon Papyrus once more and again the skeleton feels like a child in front of that tall man. The male wants to chuckle at the bitter irony. For years, he hadn't thought of the man. For year, he has let the man rot somewhere in his mind, buried with mixed feelings. And now, he's forced to confront them.

Papyrus can't tear his eyes away from those empty holes that stares right through him... _seeing things_. **_Seeing everything_**.

_**EVERYTHING...... I.... SEE....** _

At every word, the pressure inside Papyrus' skull increases. He starts to really panic. ”I don't know what you are talking about!”

_**….M....Y....SON....SANS....** _

At this, the skeleton freezes.... At first his utterly confused. _What does Sans has to do with all of this?!_

 _ **R....E...D.... THE.... ONE.... Y...OU CA...LL**_ The idea of being in front of Red's father like this fills the skeleton with rage. Where were this man when Red needed him?! A more logical part of the skeleton tries to whisper to him that maybe there is no escape from this place – whatever it was. But it doesn't matter, not when it's Red. ”What do you want with him?!” Papyrus growls angrily feeling the protectivness giving him more strenght – it's not enough to break him free. He doesn't care if he has to fight this freak too. _He **WILL** keep Red save.._.

He feels... dark amusement and bitterness. The thing hasn't yet freed him from its' glare.

_**I SEE...EV...RYTHING....WH...AT YOU....H...AVE DONE....WH...AT....YOU...WILL....DO.....** _

This... thing knows...? Knows about Fell.... Knows what Papyrus has done.... what he thinks. But... he has his impulses and... _desires_ in check. He can manage. **A N Y T H I N G** for Red. There's no fear anymore. Only determination and the satisfaction that he's the one in the real world with the smaller skeleton while this miserable creature was here, alone drowning in this nothingness.

”I don't know what you have seen, pal,” Papyrus starts with newly found confidence. ”But I would **never** hurt Red. I love him.”

Everything stops moving. The slimy goop stops squirming and just stays in place as this thing stares the skeleton. For a moment, Papyrus things that the time actually has stopped, when suddenly, so many emotions from Red's father is attacking him all at once. Fear, sadness, worry helplessness, desperation and endless want to protect are moving the goop branches as they penetrate his eye-sockets.

Papyrus _**S C R E A M S**_

It's so... cold and it's hurting... he can't see anything, his head feels like it's going to explode and the burning coldness is spreading through his bones -

He can't move his body. The male just hangs there, shivering and trembling wanting to get them all out -

**_LIAR_ **

**_LIAR_ **

The voice sounds enraged now. It echoes through Papyrus skull as if it was coming inside his head.

_**LET HIM GO** _

_**LET HIM GO** _

_**LET MY SON GO** _

_**I SEE ALL** _

_**I SEE EVERYTHING** _

_**I SEE WHAT YOU WILL DO** _

_**LETHIMGOLETHIMGOLETHIMGOLETHIMGOLETHIMGO** _

_**L E T H I M GO -** _

*****

Papyrus jolts awake panting and sweating. There's no trace of coldness in his body anymore. Quite the contrary. He's in the safety of his room, on his pleasantly warm bed. The skeleton closes his eyes and sighs. It was just a dream. Another nightmare.

A very odd one but a dream nonetheless.

The skeleton has almost gotten used to waking up like this. He knows what will help.

The male gets up from his beds and shivers as he has to leave the warmth of his bed and blanked. But if he stayed there, he would only repeat his dream inside his head over and over again.

 _Fucking shit,_ He really doesn't need this. He doesn't need some twisted version of his father from the depths of his mind to tell him that his thoughts are wrong.

_He already knows it._

Papyrus swears and stands up walking in the bathroom. As he puts the lights on, tightness in his soul seems to ease a bit. The sight of shower and bathtub and the sink fills him with tranquility and slowly, he lets his body relax.

 _It was just a dream._ The skeleton yawns, scratching the back of his neck as he walks to the sink, turning the water ice cold and washing his face. This is a ritual after every nightmare. A way of getting him back into the real world, far from the hell inside his head. (Though it's never far.)

Another one being to stop for a moment in front of Blue's door and listening his brother's snoring outside the door. And now there's two (adorable) skeletons sleeping, two snoring sounds to be heard. Sometimes, Red is silent and on occasion, he's crying.

On those nights, Papyrus would love to go inside and embrace Red or take him by the hand and brew coffee for both of them. _But he just can't and it's sometimes too **frustrating**_ **.**

The male grimaces at this. So many restrained and bottle up feelings. If... If he could only let some of that out. If he could only even kiss Red once -

But it's not possible, not **_yet_** at least if Papyrus doesn't want Red to hate him. The skeleton exists bathroom and walks to the familiar door as always, only his footsteps echoing in empty halfway. He stops and smiles fondly imagining the two sleeping. Blue would probably sleep on his side blanked almost burying him while Red would sleep on his back, his limps spread -

” - I know he tries his best... A-and well, it is kinda my fault - ”

Red's voice make Papyrus stare at the door and somewhere deep down he knows, that this is one of these nights between friends when secrets are shared, painful memories are being told and confessions are made. When very private conversations occur.

He shouldn't be here. He should just go and try to sleep.

”It's not your fault. Everyone knows it. And especially Papy,” Blues voice is full of sympathy and warmth. A quick, gentle smile visits on the big brother's face. His brother is amazing. So gentle and kind -

”But... I-I just... It's not that I don't want to spend time with him or anything, but I just keep messin' it up. He just looks so much like my bro, ya know?”

A painful jolt goes through Papyrus at those words. He really should go. He doesn't **want** to hear this, doesn't want them to compare him to that **_filth_**.

”I know,” Blue answers sighing. ”But take your time. And you have come the long way! That's a lot! You laugh at his jokes and you two have a lot in common!”

Silence. ”...Yeah. We do... Actually, he's that kind of brother I always wished I'd have... Someone who would actually be bro to me and... w-wouldn't see me as.... wouldn't.... want to do those... _things_ to me - ”

Papyrus has heard enough. He grits his teeth as hurricane of disappointment and negative feelings hits him. The skeleton squeezes his hands into tight fists as he stomps off and into his room.

Red his sees as a **BROTHER**.

Not someone to -

Not as a -

The skeleton slams the door shut violently. Papyrus sits on his bed staring in emptiness barely containing his magic which manifests into his eye, flaring, flaming and sparkling. Glowing in darkness.

Papyrus should be happy. Red wants to spend time with him. Red wants to consider him as a family member.

But in that darkness and loneliness, when nobody is watching, **I T ' S J U S T N O T E N O U G H.**

Not when Papyrus loves Red. A bone is conjured almost automatically into his hand. Papyrus doesn't even think twice as he pierces the pillow with it out of rage and frustration, staring at it with empty black eye sockets.

After so many resets and losing so much, _he just wants something of his own._

**He just wants Red.**

And being his _fucking brother_ is just not enough.

Papyrus starts to tear pillow slowly with the sharp bone. He needs to let this out somehow, on something. Otherwise he would go back to Blue's room and -

”I fucking _**L O V E**_ you....” the skeleton mutters darkly. Even though there's no Red or anyone else to hear him.

**Author's Note:**

> ..................If you think friendzone is bad...............
> 
>  
> 
> ...............Try a BROTHERZONE >8D


End file.
